My two-year old son is struggling with change. Nappies to potty, cot to bed; things in his life are shifting and he’s not altogether pleased. But change he must, or be stuck in a rut. He joins the great multitude of humans who would resist an important development of some sort and risk ending up far worse off as a result.

This is what happened to the Israelites in early Numbers. Faced with intimidating rumours of the descendents of Anak, they bottle it and refuse to enter the Promised Land. The path to freedom they should have taken appeared too difficult so they opted instead for safety and mediocrity, and ended up with a far worse challenge than the giants of Canaan: to survive the fierce ire of the desert.

We often face choices where the path ahead appears dangerous and threatening. Staying put seems the sensible, even prudent course. But life is rarely static, and what seems like level-headed caution, can often become a snare itself, without our realising it, until it’s too late.

A modern topic of intense controversy is the Iraq war. Should Britain and America have invaded a country unprovoked? For Tony Blair at least, a crucial argument at the time was that not going to war would be irresponsible; though war was dangerous, so was doing nothing. Six years on, the issue still simmers away. But now the pertinent question is when troops should come home. To stay in Iraq seems bad, but pulling out seems bad. What do you do when faced with a choice between bad and bad, pain and pain?

This is the quandary of Numbers 14. And the British (and International) response to the Iraq situation is the same as the Israelite’s response to their own: intense and pernicious internal disagreement.

The obvious solution presented by the redactor of Numbers is to trust God. If the people had just done what he’d said, they’d have been okay. But we generally find things are not that simple. Mostly we don’t know what God is asking of us, and all too often we are denied the luxury of choosing good over evil, having instead to try and salvage good by choosing the lesser of two evils.

The simple fact is that decision-making is one of the most agonisingly difficult aspects of life – the consequences of decisions can have far-reaching effects – and there are no easy rules to follow. Of particular difficulty for the Israelites is that they must all bear the consequences for the choice made by only some of the community. Indeed, if the Iraq war produces a new generation of Islamic militants (as some critics have claimed) we will all have to live with the consequences, whether in support of the war or not. This is the frustration of the wilderness: so much is out of our control.

However, even in this harsh environment there is hope. For a start, the presence of the Lord, which – we mustn’t forget – was the primary prize in the liberation from Egypt (Exod 19:4), was still ever-present over the Tent of Meeting. The Israelites may have been in the desert of unknowing, but at least that’s where God was! And when their suffering grew as dangerous snakes invaded the camp, they had the Bronze Snake onto which they could look for healing.

We will often face days, week, months or even years in wilderness experience. We will feel lost, broken, powerless, alone. And no amount of praying or striving will get us out. But ‘just as Moses lifted up the snake in the desert, so the Son of Man [has been] lifted up” (John 3:14). The image of Jesus high upon his cross is a powerful force of healing for those in barren places. Another nomad who knows the desert, Jesus holds in his nail-pierced hands all the balm of heaven for desperate regret. A victim of his own courage and casualty of his own restraint, Jesus receives embarrassed cowards and zealous fools alike. To those who despair, his powerful suffering brings hope; forcing open the gates of possibility; quashing even death under its heavy heart.

The narrative of Numbers ends with growing potential. Victories over the Amorites and Midianites show the forty-year exile is coming to an end. Yet new challenges await the Israelites in the Promised Land and their ability to face up to change will be tested again.

Both the rash reaction and the fear of the unknown displayed in Numbers 14 lead to the desert. And we all find ourselves there from time to time, sometimes through no immediate fault of our own. But to ‘fear the Lord and walk in his ways’ requires courage and patience, confidence and humility. They said of Moses, he ‘was more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth’ (12:3). Let Numbers inspire us to emulate the humility of Moses and eschew the fear-fuelled rebellion of the Israelites.

Questions for reflection:

1. What am I afraid of?

2. In what ways do these fears affect my daily decisions?

Suggestion: Sometimes our fears are hard to overcome on our own. Find someone you trust, be honest about your fears and let them help you keep them under control.