If nothing, reading that gave me a kick to donate to tearfund which I'd been meaning to do since last December when I was reading about the situation in Zimbabwee in one of those free newspapers you get on the train. Will do it tonight, promise!

With regard to trust levels for myself? Getting better. I went through a phase of being worried that if I gave God permission to lead me where he willed then my wife and I would end up homeless and in ruin because that's the kind of way God does his business! I think that rather than trying to convince myself that this is not the case it is more important for me to come to a position where I can say if that is God's will and it is the best for me and my family and the kingdom in the long run then so be it.

John Burke who leads Gateway church in Austin, Texas says "If God wanted to ruin your life would he really need your permission first?" I have found that helpful.

I think part of my worry comes from an uncertainty as to whether having a fairly well paid job in a secular company is doing God's will. I like my job, I feel a responsibility to the company and the people who I work with, I wouldn't want to let them down because God haul's me off to Africa or something. My wife and I have also just got settled in a house and are starting to set up home (previously we'd been renting with friends) - things seem to be coming together but I'm worried that it is my kingdom that is coming together rather than God's.

The passages this week are very challenging to me. What does heavenly treasure look like? How do I gain it? What of my things on earth am I clinging to? Would any of it stop me from responding to God's call?

Anyone else ever feel like this?